The Nonfiction Files 3: Can a Memoir Be Bad?

Seven questions I ask to judge a person's life story without judging their life.

I’ve seen it said on Book Internet™ that you can’t judge a memoir without judging the author or their lived experiences. Or that if you say you didn’t like a memoir, you’re essentially saying you didn’t like the author or their life.

As I’m sure you’ve guessed, I fucking hate this line of thinking. Of course a memoir can be bad (or good) completely and utterly separate from the author, their life, and who they are as a person. There is no moral judgement just because the book features autobiographical details.

But, then it dawned on me, we might be having this conversation over and over because people don’t know what makes a memoir good or bad or otherwise, and if you’re judging something based solely on the content, and that content is a person’s life, it feels like you’re judging the person and not their art.

So I decided to insert myself into this conversation¹.

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Before we actually get to what makes a memoir good or bad. Let’s quickly define the genre. A memoir is a person’s own story told through memory, not reporting.² It is vibes based nonfiction. Memoir focuses on one moment, event, or portion, of the author’s life. It can use creative writing and storytelling to get at the “truth” of something. Colloquially memoir and autobiography are used interchangeably, but actually these are two distinct forms of life writing.

An autobiography is an entire life story (up to that point), fact based, and has a political or philosophical outlook to disseminate. Memoir as noted above has a narrower scope, based in memory, and has a more artistic approach to storytelling. It is getting at an emotional truth versus an actual one³. With autobiography there is an expectation and assumption of truth⁴.

I know a lot of people like to distinguish between celebrity memoirs and memoirs written by writers. I don’t really do that. They are all in the same genre and attempting the same thing. While I certainly have different standards and expectations for different authors, that is true for me across genre⁵ and author’s profession. I might be looking for more juice from a celeb and more complex formal elements from a poet memoirist, but in the end I use the same criteria to evaluate the success of a memoir.

For a little context on how I approach critiquing any book, I generally use three overall criteria. I have been using this quasi-rubric in some form or another since at least my college days as a theatre snob, but it works at a restaurant for a meal as well as it does for a novel.

First, what was the thing (in this case book) trying to do/be? Did it do that? Did I like it? The last one is important, but people often skip it in memoir because it feels like a value judgement of the author. The question isn’t did I like the author or the events of their life? It is did I like the thing they made? Did I enjoy the reading of the memoir?

Yes, your opinion/level of enjoyment of the work matters here. If we are only evaluating art on what it set out to do and its success at that attempt, we are only evaluating art on intent and not impact. And I think if you ask most artists, the impact is what they care most about. How does my work move my audience? Does it land?

Building off that general criteria, here are seven more questions I try and work through as I’m contemplating the quality of a memoir.

1. Was it well written? We don’t always know what good writing is, but we certainly know when the writing sucks. This comes into play a lot when people known for other parts of their life decide to churn out a memoir. The writing is just not good. It is basic⁶. Or maybe it feels stilted and over worked, which can happen to both newbs and serious writers alike.

2. Was the story interesting? This isn’t a question of if the author’s life was interesting. That is mostly irrelevant. To be honest, some of the people who have lived the wildest lives, find a way to make their story boring as hell. So what I’m getting at here is, did the author write about whatever piece of their life in a way that piqued my interest. Did they capture the flow and rhythms of their life in a way that made sense of their story?

3. Were they vulnerable? An incredibly important piece of memoir is vulnerability. If I feel the author is holding out or holding back on me, it drives me up the wall. Why write this book if you don’t want to share your story for real? Not to mention the fluff of self help and advice, masquerading as authority or growth, sprinkled through so many memoirs. I’m not reading a memoir for advice, I am here to see another person’s lived experience. To see how they get at the truth of their story. The advice feels like a way to distance oneself, or forgo accountability, instead of giving it to us straight. Anyone can write a full of shit memoir, and many do, but that doesn’t mean these books are any good. For that, the author must get into the muck of it with me, and they must show their humanity. I can (and do) forgive mediocre writing if I feel the author is offering themselves to their reader.

4. Do I feel connected to the author? Obviously this is connected to the vulnerability piece, and it is crucial. When I read a memoir, even if I dislike the person or their choices, I want to feel a connection to them. I want to feel as if I understand their actions and responses, even (and maybe especially) if I don’t agree or wouldn’t behave in that way. The best memoirs bring us (the writer and reader) together, whether it is the bond of friends of foes.

5. Was it juicy? This is particularly important for celebrity memoirs, but I think it goes for the whole genre. The best memoirs are the ones that feel like gossip. Where, because of the connection we’ve built and the vulnerability they’ve shared, I get to feel like I’m getting the low down from a trusted source. There is nothing worse to me than a boring dry memoir. That goes times a million billion for a celebrity memoir. Give me tea.

6. Was it entertaining? Books are a form of entertainment⁷. We know this. So why are so many memoirs boring as hell? In any good memoir⁸ I should want to continue turning pages. Was I locked in? And let me be really real here, I think a lot of memoirs are bad and this question is where they usually fail. Most memoirs could (and should) have been essays. The author has one story to tell and they drag it out (do I need to know the name of the street your great-granny lived on?). When I find myself skimming to get to the good stuff, that’s usually a sign something is not working. This is different than was it interesting? Things can (and do) interest me that are boring as hell. Interest is intellectual. Entertainment is visceral.

7. Was it self-aware? A good memoir knows what it is and what it is trying to do. It understands not only who the author is, but who the audience is and what they are trying to get out of the book. If the author can rise to the occasion, whether that is a wink and nod, or subverting expectation, or embracing accountability, that is usually a mark of a well done memoir.

So, to answer the question, memoirs can be bad. Very bad. And that has nothing to do with the author as a human. It has everything to do with the author as a storyteller (in this medium). I hope this helps next time you finish a memoir you hate but don’t know how to talk about it.

Do you use any criteria to critique memoir. Do you have different standards for celebrity memoirs? Any memoirs you loathe? Talk to me!

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1. Why do I do this to myself?

2. Though some memoirists will get into the nitty gritty and try to prove every detail of their book.

3. It should be said, and it feels obvious to me, that many autobiographies are embellished and exagerate the truth. That is on an author by author basis though, and not the essence or intent of the genre.

4. If this interests you, I highly recommend checking out Philippe Lejeune’s writing on the Autobiographical Pact.

5. I hold reported nonfiction to a different standard than YA fantasy, for example.

6. And this comes from me, a very much non-writer, who is writing basic as hell sentences right here. I know my memoir would be bad. That’s why I have no plans to write one.

7. Please never forget this, people.

8. Honestly, any book.